Mark Whadcoat was dead. He had not been a pleasant man, nor a good man, and Charles de Lacy felt no guilt. The facts were that Whadcoat had intended to be the slayer rather than the slain, and that de Lacy had struck in terror and in self-defence. Whadcoatâs heinous act in trying to force de Lacy to dig his own grave removed any last trace of sympathy. There was no doubt Whadcoat had deserved to die, and in killing him de Lacy had done the world a favour. Nevertheless, de Lacy was painfully aware that the police and the courts were unlikely to share his view, even if they accepted his version of the story.
Ever since the terrible night on which he had first killed and then buried Mark Whadcoat, de Lacyâs mood had been sombre. Immediately afterwards, while he disposed of the car and other potentially incriminating evidence, he had felt as if he was on automatic, going through the necessary motions with scientific precision. Only when he was sure he had done everything within his power to keep the risk of discovery to a minimum had he tried to return to the comfortable routine of his old life. To do so was essential, as any change in his behaviour might seem suspicious, but what had been effortless was now contrived.
Above all, it was impossible to shake the feeling that he was merely postponing his fate, and that his best course of action would be to go to the police and confess. Only one thing had prevented him from doing so: his unshakable conviction that he did not deserve to be punished for what he had done, nor to suffer any inconvenience whatsoever. Rather than feeling self-reproach for Whadcoatâs death, his principle reaction was resentment, an emotion very much to the fore one evening in late October as he considered what to drink with his dinner.