Bertie and the Kinky Politician (ebook)

Argumento de Bertie and the Kinky Politician (ebook)

A humorous peep at power, politics, perverse predilections - and parrots?

There is a sound, of all the sounds in the world, which has long tantalised and fascinated men. Some sounds evoke delicious memories, such as the comforting hubbub of conversation in a friendly pub or the soft breath of a sleeping lover. Other sounds are entirely natural in origin, storm waves thunderign up a shingle beach, for instance, or the exquisite call of a nightingale. We live on a surprisingly noisy planet and as a consequence are thoughtfully endowed by nature with the means by which to detect these sounds. The provision of ears, in addition to simplifying the design of spectacles, has also proved especially beneficial for those who need to keep a pencil handy.

Sounds permeate our existence. Language has led us to a position of complete planetary domination. With language came argument, and argument, when combined with that other early discovery of mankind, alcohol, naturally evolved into philosophy. Which in turn busied itself with the nature of sound. Sadly, all philosophy appears to have come up with - bearing in mind we've been labouring away since the Ancient Greeks - all philosophy has provided us with on the subject of sound can be distilled down to the single conundrum of the branch in the forest. Does it make a sound if there's no one about to hear it fall?

It would be fair to say this has been the subject of much debate over the years. Assuming the observer is close enough to the action to witness the event then the answer is yes - unless, of course, the spectator is deaf, at which point matters get really complicated. In short, the ancient and exceedingly lively history of Earth has been peppered with examples of colossal noise; the planetary collision which produced the moon, titanic volcanic explosions, the walloping great asteroid impact that finished off the dinosaurs, terrifying storms of catastrophic magnitude, but frankly, since no one was round to hear these momentous events, who cares? After all, a sound is merely a noise that can be heard. But there are some sounds that are entirely human in origin, owe no debt to nature, are not unduly associated with prickly matters of philosophy, and it is one of these sounds with which we are concerned at this particular time.

It is the rap of steel-tipped stiletto heels on a bare wooden floor.0